(said with all the excitement in the world) Hi baby!
I imagine that you are just getting in from service. Ah yes,
I can hear Embahra chanting… I see the smile on Khumyri’s face, literally
stretching from ear to ear … and SaHura beckoning to try on one of our
motorcycle helmets…I can see Peanut overjoyed about your return home, wagging
his tail, and trying his absolute hardest to wait for you to take him outside.
lol Yes. These are frequents that I miss and think about with regularity. My
prayer is that you all are keeping warmhearted energies in close proximity with
your spirits in the midst of all that dirty Jersey weather. (boo-hiss to the
extended winter). Of course, I am always and especially sending warm energies
your way, beloved.
I can’t tell you how delighted I was at hearing Peanut in the
background of our skype convo. How cute was that when he barked a ‘WATTUP!’
from East Orange for Nikki, my host family’s dog, who then in return, barked an
‘¡HOLA!’ in response! Indeed, these are one of the many unique moments of our
journey that make me laugh out loud with appreciation for the attributes of who
we are—love, drive, growth, play, being, breath, and laughter… and that’s
LAUGHTER with a big ‘I love us!’ kind of exclamation point at the end of it.
I read and reread the words you wrote in my journal and I am
always caught at “I am in a state of vulnerable joy to partake in this
bountiful feast of life giving sustenance with you…thrilled at the unknown…
each step gives birth to wonders…”
These words come with me everywhere I go, but I am particularly
entrenched in them and they in me when I experience a moment of bliss here in
Costa Rica. For instance, today, I went hiking again up the Altos Mountain and
experienced absolute bliss! This time, I went alone so that I could simply hear
the heartbeat of the earth, talk to God, and be gone. It’s about 13 kilometers
of a straight incline and it typically takes about 6 to 8 hours. Now, I should
say that bliss is not an immediate response when climbing this mountain. The first
40 minutes feel like torture! I’m not quite sure why. Honestly, the air is
thinner as the incline steepens and the road is less traveled the more you
travel upward, thus less paved when nearest the top. At the very very top, there are no roads. There are no trails, no automobiles, and very few people—just
life. But logically speaking, the top of the mountain should
feel more difficult to climb and not the beginning.
Today, I started coming up with explanations as to why the
first moments of the climb are so discouraging—not just for me, but everyone I
know who has experienced it. Perhaps it is because the automobiles and
motorcycles that zoom by come with the ever-present reminder of our own lack of
comfort during the climb—everything on your body is suddenly burning… me
personally, whenever I stop to take a breather during the first 40 minutes,
it’s like my heart and I get into this deep discussion. She’s like ‘Is you fo’real?!’
And I’m like, ‘Yeah, believe it or not, we’re that crazy’.
Or, perhaps the first moments are toughest because the
locals who are used to the climb [which are typically elderly women and or
young children] seem to go at the mountain with incredible ease. I’m sure they
can point out the amateurs; instead, they only smile and nod as they pass our
limp bodies gasping for air. Even after going up several times since my stay,
there is still a sense of unpredictability, wonder, and something to see from a
matchless perspective, or something that I missed entirely during my prior
trips up. Yet and still, the sheer physical and emotional panic of the
toughness during the first few minutes is always the same. It’s like I am coming
loose from the umbilical cord of all the luxuries of civilization I know
behind me— and all the people, the cars, the success I witness of others during my
struggle up are mere reminders of everything I am leaving behind on flat ground.
Many people turn back at this point. I almost did my first time.
It’s usually around this point when I turn around to see how
far I’ve come and catch the miraculous view of the earth. It’s beauty is sensory
overload! My heart continues to beat but stands still; it intertwines itself
with the pulse of the earth. It is then, I am sincerely wishing I could
share that moment of exquisite and vulnerable joy with you, man. Seriously! My
heart is like, ‘Oh my gosh, he would love
this!—the smell of it, the taste of it etc… where is that wonderful man of
mine? I miss him so’ …
These are the moments that I am thrilled at the unknown and
truly, each step gives birth to new wonders, just like you said. In fact, I’ve
concluded that there’s not a moment of joy I experience that I don’t wish to share with you, handsome. If ever you doubted for even a mere second, please
rest assured in knowing how much joy you bring me.
Any who, I’ll go before I go and get any mushier for all the
readers, but please send Peanut a little puppy love from me to him.
Miss’n you on the daily, man, lover, closest friend, and
partner in stopping crime,
I love you with my mind, body, heart & soul.
Be well
Be well
*Besos*
Shem e em hetep
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